Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015 Ends with a good note !!!

Hey you my readers, how have been? I hope rocking and enjoying the lil' moments of life. Stay happy :) Can't believe it's been 2 years since I joined the banking job and may be one of the reason i wasn't able to share my thoughts(you know busy me ;) ). Now i finally got the some time to spare for my lovin' and always encouraging readers. I'm myself an avid reader and i really like to finish what i start even if at times it takes decades to get hold of a story and really get indulged into it.Like for instance i borrowed a book from my cousin long time back, when i was still a student, it's the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I started it but never finished, i do want to though, i really do but the thing is i don't get the motivation to. Although the book is great and i watched all the movies so many times but the thing is it's too thick. I even read "The Hobbit" which is like the prequel of the series in between, also i'm tryin to finish Dan Brown's "Deception Point" and "Inferno", i know i know one can't read too many books at a time, and apparently you can see why not. This kind of thing always happens with me, in my mind i create scenarios where i'm a responsible adult and i finish my work efficiently, on time not to mention creatively. But then reality strikes me down and here i am one lazy girl/woman about to do my last weeks chores. So the key point here is one should be actually motivated to do something, be it readin', cookin', writin' etc. let's just say whichever word has -ing in it except for sleepin'. Who doesn't love sleepin', if you ask me i can sleep for 24 hrs straight..

Anyway so i'm one of those people who would make resolutions and forget them as soon as the new year begins, hell i don't even follow it for a day, just for the sake of it. Right now my priority should be to prepare for the upcomin interview which would help me get an upgrade to my job profile. Tell you the truth, i'm not really good at formal talkin', though casually I can talk for hours, days, but that's me bein' friendly. I get really nervous when i have to think before i speak and make sure that the listener is impressed by my speech. To be precise when people say 'be yourself and be confident', i can be either, not both. I need to work on my communication skills but some people are born like that, it's in their nature, right? You know it happens in teenage that you figure this world is so phony and there's no one who understands you or what you're going through. The pressures, the over-thinking that destroys your mind, nobody gets it really, you feel irritated, frustrated and all you want is a lil' peace of mind. Well, i go through that phase sometimes, (teenage in adulthood), you may or may not relate 'cause i don't really talk about this stuff so i hardly know what other people think. Anyway, it makes me sad to see that all my life i stood fearlessly strong, independent, and happy-go-lucky and now negative thoughts cloudin' my mind are goin' to breakdown everythin' i build. Why does one become so emotionally weak that they need to lean on to someone to recover?
Anyway, two good things happen this year, one was an event that i was longin' for sometime now, where i had to act like a responsible adult. Bein' a responsible person is hard, it's a tiresome job, and people countin' on you adds to the pressure. Another good thing that happened was that i got transferred to a better place, i hope this place lasts a bit longer than previous ones. I never liked the previous ones, the reason for that is i didn't like my work there. Now the work is good and so are the people Alhamdulilah. See, one should always take in the positive things in life, even if most of them are not goin' your way. Who cares what happens next when everythin' is pre-written. Being said that, i end this post here with a good note, to keep writin' more frequently in 2016. :)

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Floods in Kashmir : a trauma for lifetime !!!

It was raining for a week now in the first week of September 2014. But that's normal as we Kashmiris weren't aware of the consequences that rain water could cause. We were enjoying the rain sitting at home with family as the rain hadn't stopped and the lanes were filled with rain water. After 7 days of continuous rainfall, rainbow showed. We were thrilled to see a ray of hope, clicked pictures but we didn't know what's coming is worse. The water level started to rise, first slow then more. The river Jehlum had begun rising continuously crossing all the past records on the gauge metre. The water in our lanes started rising too even though the rain had already stopped. It couldn't make sense at first but then we came to know that Jehlum had breached. As the water level entered our gates we couldn't stop thinking about what's next. We couldn't sleep whole night and the next day early morning I could see the horrible nightmare coming true. Our garden was flooded and so was our car, the water was just knocking at our door. My uncle, my sister and my cousin decided to leave the place. The water was still rising and I couldn't decide. How could you just leave everything behind. Was it the end of the world when you just want to save your life and forget about all the other materialistic things? My parents didn't leave but they made us go. The thought of not coming back to the place you call home or not seeing your parents again was heart wrenching. All I could do now was pray to Allah for their safety. As we were walking in the waist up flood water, all I could think of was first the water was very cold and why did I leave my parents behind, I'm such a coward. The water was rising and the situation was getting worse, there was no cellphone network. But atleast the landline worked, so we could call our parents back home to see how they are doing. Finally, they decided to leave and now I could have a sense of relief, also my sister would stop crying atleast. Some good boatman had rescued 'em and my uncle, aunt and cousin from the house nearby. The water level had now risen so high that boats were rowing on the airport road. I couldn't believe what i had been witnessing. I still thought it was a dream and someone would just pinch me and wake me up. We lived at my maasi's(maternal aunt) place for a week or so. Thankfully floods hadn't reached their side yet. Every other day we would hear heart wrenching news about people who were worst affected. After few days, the water level stopped rising and now it was receding. We went out with our uncle one evening and the view outside, it was really depressing as it didn't seem like Kashmir. So many people on the road, some taking shelter in the masjids, some gurdwaras, some on the flyover, some on the footpath, some in the marriage halls, some walking, some telling happy stories to their children trying to cheer them. Some places gave a chilling haunting creepy vibe. The floods took everything with it, lives of people, houses, materialistic things, happiness, peace, prosperity, progress. All it couldn't take away was the will to rise again from the ashes, the hope of a better tomorrow. In shaa Allah Kashmir will rise again. 4 months have passed and everything is slowly getting back to normal but the traces are there and the scars remain. The traumatic experience can't be erased and it'll always remind us that we and everthing we own belongs Allah SWT and He'll take it away anytime He wants.

Some clicks durin' the flood:
Just Rainwater
A ray of hope
Water at our doorstep

Water at our gate
Pre flood picture
A view from the top of a flood hit area