Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Life as an adult !!!

On my way to the office, there's a stop in between where i swap buses so as to reach the office. One fine day i was walkin' towards my office and as usual had no mood to go there but a bit of happy feelin' that it was a Saturday (which means a half day for us ;) enough to keep me motivated. And like everyday i reached that stop and i heard the sumo(cab) driver yellin' "Jammu" as many time as he could so that the people who needed a ride to Jammu would hear him. Jammu is the winter capital of the place where i live, Kashmir. I used to ignore the yellin' everyday but this day was different, I don't know what but i felt like leavin' everythin' behind and get in that sumo and go as far as i could. I was mad at don't know what, and only thing that could cool me off was to run away to a place where no one would know my name, just travel as long as i could and reach as far as i could. Is this normal? Do people sometimes feel like to escape from this world? 
My maasi(maternal aunt) sometimes mocks me and calls me a hippie cause she thinks i don't care about the world, and live in my own world. At times i think it would be fun to be a hippie, not the drug addiction thing, no :P, the movin' anywhere to any place thing like a saint(sanyasi) without anythin' to care about in this materialistic world. Have you ever thought of gettin' lost so as to find yourself? What the hell am i talkin' about? I think i may be way too much influenced by the movie "Highway". I want to travel around the globe and not stop, I want to ride on the rooftop of a bus, I want to dance all night long with no one starin', I want to feel free, all for SOMETIME. 
Speakin' of freedom, marriage is hell of a responsibility, livin' a life that pleases others, whats fun in that !! I do want to get married sometimes inshaAllah but i'm happy Alhumdulilah that i no longer feel despo for gettin' married soon. When its time it would happen, and all the responsibility issues commitment issues, bein' a people pleaser, all would fall over my head in the blink of an eye, untill then i'm goin' to enjoy my super fine free life. Now its probably not a good post for my future hubby to read, but all i can say is that everyone at some point in their life wants freedom from things that have been botherin' 'em so much that it's hard to resist. I want freedom too, freedom from depressin' thoughts, freedom from the reel life, freedom from every lil' thing that keeps botherin' me, freedom from people who keep interferin'. i want to be independent, that's freedom for me. Things change, people change and the value/meanin' of freedom changes for 'em too. 
Tell you the truth i hate bein' an adult, all the stupid stress has made me an emotional fool. I never knew bein' an adult would be so insanely borin', lifeless, stressful, hectic, serious and at times broke. The thing that is keepin' me sane these days are the books, be it literature or fiction, makes me wander to places not remotely connected to reality. Can you imagine I've began to like General Knowledge too !! Have you ever wondered why it's hard to start a book but once you do there's no stoppin' you, i can read all day and all night after i cover a few pages...It reminds me i've to finish, no start actually another book, adventure plus fiction. So for now tchao !!! 

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