Now you must be really tired of my depressing posts, so here i thought lets try to somethin' else. Random thoughts, may be, good things in life mostly !! I will try to write positive things in life 'cause I am positive/cheerful person ;) Now where do i begin? Not long time ago, say a year and a half ago when i finished my major in Computer Science. I was desperately searchin' for a job, just a job, any job would do to keep myself busy. I thought my degree was no use without a job, so puttin' my knowledge to practical use seemed difficult. And finally one day, i got a job, a job that i liked. I was excited too much. To be busy, to be independent was the dream, you know, I will always remember my first job, my first salary. I learned a lot, loved my work and had fun at the same time. What it is to be like a professional and team work matters, I learned how important it is to keep yourself updated of the latest technologies. I improved as a writer and came to know about my technical skills as a web designer. Only after 3 months I was ready for a new job but i didn't want to switch so early. So after 7 months or so i switched to another. I wanted to enhance skills and explore myself more in the technical field. The next job was good too, i liked my work, got appreciated for it and i liked the location of my workplace. Every mornin' i felt happy, and on my way to the workplace i always used to check a clock through the glass window of an old man's shop which made me feel like i'm not alone.
Just few weeks back, actually a month or two, i got another job, it was sort of compensation to what i was really aimin' for, a counter offer which i accepted (now i feel like i sold my soul to the devil ;) JK. :P It is more secure than the previous ones but hectic at the same time, plus i don't like the work. It isn't in anyway related to my subject first of all, anyone who can speak good Kashmiri (my mother tongue) can do it and bein' a Kashmiri i can't speak my native language fluently. So i have a big time communication problem with people. I feel lonely sometimes, like i've lost my voice among people who don't understand me a bit, somethin' is missin'. For now, i have to get better at my present job and find myself another at the same time. But would i be able to get what i am lookin' for? I am beginnin' to think Teacher as a career option, my mum was one and she inspires me. Too many corporations makes one professional yet anti-social. Although i am gettin' adjusted in the new work place, to think of it as a long term career makes me wanna kill myself. Sometimes i wish i get a job where i love to work, i have alternate holidays and pretty good salary, that's just some lame wish to get out of my routine hectic life, but it wouldn't hurt if it's gonna be true !! ;)
Like the career thing wasn't enough, all of a sudden you reach an age where everyone's gettin' married and even though i am not a huge fan of "marriage", sometimes i feel like too. "May be it solves all the puzzles in my life", is what i think but in reality marriage is not the solution to all your problems. I hate when people ask me when am i gettin' married, why they are so concerned, i can never tell. One thing that i have accepted is that i am emotional, not a fool though. Lettin' your emotions take over you isn't foolish at times, it helps you to see things from a different perspective. There was a time when i never wanted to get married, may be i have changed, may be i need a new adventure.
There is one most important thing that i have realized so far, i.e. you ignore many things in life that makes you happy. You forget there are a lot of things that you've been blessed with and others not, so shouldn't you be thankful for what you have. There are people who wish to have a life like you do, they are stronger than you and face difficulties much harsher than you. So, whenever i feel my life sucks i think about 'em and i see they don't whine or complain on petty matters like we do even if they are deprived of the most basic things in life. All these thoughts i had to pen down to keep a reminding myself whenever i feel distressed. Much needed break that made me rediscover myself. I will be the same cheerful girl that i used to be 'cause I have so many things to be happy for. I have a job, I am a busy and independent girl, no more askin' pocket money from my parents or my didz. I get Saturdays half days and have gazetted holidays. I have family who loves me for who i am, adorable friends who support me and are always there for me. I am happy that i got so much experience in a year, met so many good people, got identified and appreciated for my work by my bosses. Hoping the same in future !!!
